I was walking out of the hospital tonight and I noticed a sign I had walked past 1 million times before, it read #IHope. Some may read my posts and feel the awfulness of the situation, there is a lot of negativity, and it is pretty depressing but in the end I really do have Hope that this is going to end well.  I realized it is so much easier to focus on negativity and it takes much more work to see the good in a situation, to see the light. We are so hard on ourselves, maybe we try something and are not the best or we feel like we could’ve done better on something; it is so hard to focus on the fact that we tried or that we completed something and be happy in that fact.

So many times Aiden would come home from school and say “I had a bad day” and it’s so easy to get sucked into this negativity. I would try to remind him:

“You did not have a bad DAY; something’s may have happen in your day that were not the greatest, make you sad or uncomfortable or angry but that does not make the whole day bad!  Try focus on the good things in the day.

And as I remember this, I realize, I have not been taking my own advice.  So here we go:

1. Aiden said another word!  He said “I can’t!”. I was trying to brush his teeth and he and I were getting frustrated. He was growling at me so I gave him the toothbrush and said, “You do it! You brush your teeth!” In a muffled voice he said “I can’t!” We both froze and looked at each other, both surprised.  I said “did you just say you can’t!” and he laughed with a huge smile. I told every doctor and nurse and anybody that would listen!

2. I recived an amazing message from someone that said, since hearing about Aiden she had gotten together with colleagues and put a package together for Aiden and his brothers. She called it “Project Aiden Smile”. To top it off, she said that when he gets out her and her colleagues want him (and brothers) to have a day where he can ride on any heavy machinery.  If she does not have it, she will get it. I read him the message and he smiled ear to ear. My brother was in the room at the time and I looked over and he had reared up and I could tell they were happy tears. Not only is this a huge motivation for him but also the tug in our heart knowing that so many people are rooting for Aiden!

3. Today I talked with another mom whose son had the same cancer as Aiden.  He went through the same surgery, he had mutism and needed rehabilitation to walk again.  I talked to her for over two hours. We went back-and-forth on stories and it made me feel so good to know that I am not alone in the feelings I have been feeling.  She also gave me a better understanding of what the condensed chemotherapy treatment would look like. Although our cases are different in many ways it was so good to hear another perspective – mom to mom

4.  My brother sent me photos of Declan hanging out with his cousin. He had the hugest smile on his face and I could tell he was having a great time goofing around with his crazy cousin. I am so lucky to know that he is so well taken care of

5. I received another photo from my dad and stepmom who have been taking care of Lynkon. He was down at camp eating sand; just like the good ol’days of summer! I am so lucky to have had such an amazing summer with all my boys at camp.  Catching fireflies, crazy paddle boat rides and a whole community in itself who are supporting us and praying for Aiden.

6. Even though we were put on isolation we still had lots of laughs. It was very comical to watch the physiotherapist, who always Insists Aiden has his running shoes on before he goes to the gym, get in the whole body draped outfit. Definitely not gym attire!

7.  A friend visited yesterday and her son had found these Pokémon gym badges and thought they would be a great motivation for Aiden and his physiotherapy classes – kids know kids!

8. We have had endless amounts of people offer to help in anyway they can!  Whether it’s cooking meals, financial help, organizing fundraisers, donating items, doing our laundry, being a listening ear, driving our boys, the list is endless. I have talked to some parents here who are from 8-9 hours away; we are so lucky to have an amazing community, friends, family and even strangers so close.

9. I received a message on the blog. It was from a teacher at Aiden school who had suggested a communication app called Clicker 7 to help him communicate. We have so many people working together to get Aiden better!

10.  Even though Aiden has extensive rehabilitation in order to sit, walk and talk right now,  I take hope in the fact that he is guaranteed to talk again!  whether it is two days, a month, or year his speech will come back. Everyday he is getting stronger. There are some kids that come out of this surgery and are completely paralyzed or do not understand anything being said.  We are so thankful Aiden understands every single word we are saying.

11. He is now ticklish! We can tickle him and make him laugh,

And finally,

12. Even though this has been extremely difficult, I still have a husband who loves me unconditionally and would do anything for his family. We may disagree at times, which I am sure most married couples do, but we know at the end of the day we are fighting for the same thing, to save Aiden

So everyday I am going to make a conscience effort to focus on the good things. #iHope that the more I focus on the good the less room there is for bad.

3 Replies to “#iHope”

  1. I think of you guys everyday and it’s brings me back 21 years and another little boy who went through so much and faught so hard to get better 😄 And here we are he’s still with us 😄
    The journey ahead will have its challenges but a really good support group around you will help a lot and I know that is there.
    Any time you want to talk I am here for all of you 💗 # Ihope is awesome
    In my heart and prayers

  2. after reading your comments, sounds to me that you are doing all the right things. just remember that small changes lead to bigger rewards. Cant get to Ottawa but will help financially through your donation site. Stay strong and send my love to Aiden and all the family. Wes’s Nany.

  3. Thank you Stephanie for sharing all the pain and anxiety that this sudden diagnosis has brought on. It saddens me to know what your family is going through, however it is heartwarming to hear about the little steps of progress as well as all the outpouring of help. I’m happy to see that Declan and Lyndon are both being loved and taken care of by your family who want to help so much. No one ever know when something may happen to their family so I truly admire your positive thoughts. I’ll keep thinking of and praying for you and your whole family and hopefully next time I’m back in Ontario I’ll see a much stronger Aiden!

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