3 months since Aiden’s passing, I feel the clock tick but the speed is unknown to me. I realize time is an illusion of our minds. Am I going too fast? Am I not going fast enough? Where is the rule book on losing a child and healing? The last 2 weeks I feel like […]
The house is so quiet which causes me to feel uneasy. The calm gives room for my anxiety to grow but I also know I need this time to absorb all the events of the week. I need this time to freely sob and to just stay in bed and sleep and recharge as much […]
Mommyyyy, Mommyyyy.” I awake in a panic. I call out Aiden’s name but then realize he is at his Dads. “Where is my phone?” I look to my side table, it’s not there. I rush downstairs and pick up my boyfriend Jays phone from the table. “What’s the number? What’s the number?” I send text […]
I can’t even use the word exhausted to discribe our lives right now as it does not even come close to the actual feeling. This round of chemo is taking its toll, beating Aiden down so bad he can hardly hold his head up. For over a week now Aiden has pretty much been on complete bed rest except for frequent trips to the washroom to expel everything from his body…..
I will never be able to look back and say it was not for lack of trying. I have faltered, I am not this strong person people see all the time, but….